Fairy Tale Lives

Have you ever just been sitting somewhere, like at work, in the cubicle and just think "really? Is this is it?" and wonder when that thing will come along and turn your mundane life into something extraordinary?

I'm thinking about that scene in the pilot episode of Heroes, when Hiro Nakamura is sitting at his desk at work, staring intently at a clock, willing it to do something. Then, it turns back one second, he jumps up, pumps his fist and screams "YATTA!!". I don't know how many times I've stared out the window at work, on a bus, anywhere and wonder what my super power is. Other times, I wonder if some middle aged man with glasses and British accent will come and tell me I'm a slayer. At this point I'd probably raise an eyebrow, point to myself and say "really? Slay vampires? With THIS body? Seriously?!". Then I'd laugh.

Would still be pretty cool though.

Must be my overactive imagination mixed with my longing for a life other than the one I'm living. Well, most of it anyways.

I've been watching Once Upon a Time. It's a good show, about fairy tale characters trapped in the real world, without realizing who they really are. I liked watching Disney movies as a kid, mostly for the music. I didn't consider myself a Cinderella or Snow White. More like a Belle or Ariel, more of a lonely outcast, wanting another life. Not sure who I'm more like. I have a similar, albeit lighter colour hair as Belle, and I like reading. Ariel...well, I hate the water. Can't swim. So I guess I'm more like Belle. Unless, I really am a fairy tale character and since Ariel so desperately wanted to be in another life and I hate being in water that goes over my head...think about it. Plus, it'd explain why I enjoy having my hair dyed red.

Right. Because television is real. /end sarcasm.

Last episode of Once Upon a Time featured a genie. Like all genies, he could grant wishes. His number was three, with the typical being no life, no death, no love, no wishing for more wishes. So what would I wish for? First thing is easy....enough money to pay off the student loan, credit cards, move out, and a little left over to go see more of Europe that I didn't see. Second wish? I have no idea.

I live in a fantasy world, either in my head or online. I think it's time to go back to the world of Azeroth for a little while.

The In-Between

The past few weeks, several blog topics have gone through my mind, and I had ever intention of writing them. Of course, I get these great ideas and thoughts when I'm no where near a computer and so I can't write. Today, I have the time, I'm on the computer, and I don't want to write these topics.

Right now, I feel like I'm stuck straddling between what I want and what I have. What I have is fine, but what I want, I can't have. Not right now anyways. Plus, my emotions are playing a huge part in this. If I stay with what I have...well, my emotions would become frustrated. If I leave the situation because I can't have what I want, then I'll be sad because I won't have what I currently have. Compromising between what I want and what I have will probably just complicate things further.

I'm pretty sure I've lost you right now. It makes sense to me, and it might to you if you have an inkling about what this is about.

I know what the logical thing should be. Unfortunately, my head and my heart like to argue, particularly when it comes to this situation. I think the big question is, can I not have what I have? Considering what I was like when I didn't have it, I don't think I can. But how much will it kill me, wanting what I do, but only having what I have?