This is Halloween

Today is Halloween, despite what the weather is like outside in my corner of the world. Rain, cold, windy and about 3 degrees Celsius (37 Fahrenheit). We might get kids come to the door. If not, more chips for me. I will be wearing my witch dress to work, which people will either like or have nightmares about, depending on your persuasion.

Either way, since it's Halloween, a night people associate with ghosts, zombies, witches and all things dead, there are people who are against, mostly heavily Christian people (please note, I'm not saying heavily Christian people are anti-Halloween, just that most people who are anti-Halloween are heavily Christian). I don't care if someone is heavily religious. I'd just like it if you had a little background information before belittling other people's beliefs.

Of course Halloween has Pagan influences, but so does other Christian holidays. Many elements of the Christmas story most Christians known are also seen in Pagan and pre-Christian mythology. Easter also has Pagan roots. Google Eostre and see. So why single out Halloween? My guess would be that it's more open. However, people who note Halloween for it's Paganism seem to forget that it has Christian origins as well, that it's called All Hallows Eve, the day before All Hallows, or All Saints.

I guess people just like to use different bits of information for their own personal reasons without looking at the whole picture. I like to think I see more of the big picture, but I could be wrong. I just know that I suck at writing conclusions and bringing things all together (really, you should see some papers I've had to write...conclusions frequently the weak part). But, I think my point here is clear enough that I don't need one. If I do, let me know.

Caped Questions

The following as been running around my head for a while, and it needs to come out in blog form.

Why do some superheros wear capes? Obviously, not all of them do.

At first, I thought it was to help with flying, as some sort of wind resistance. Superman flies, Superman wears a cape. Same with Storm, Underdog and Magneto. However, Green Lantern flies, he has no cape. Iron Man flies, no cape. Human Torch as well. Wonder Woman seems to have both cape and no cape forms.

It's possible that the cape is used because those without the cape can fly without it.

Though that doesn't explain why Batman, the Caped Crusader, has a cape! No, wait, the cape makes him look more like a bat. But then why does Dr.Doom wear a cape? To my knowledge, he does not fly.

Of course, there's the argument used in The Watchmen and The Incredibles which says that capes are deathtraps, getting caught in doors, elevators, jet turbines and so on.

So...what is the point of the Superhero Cape? It doesn't aid in flying if not everyone needs it, and some who wear it don't use it for flying.

I guess the only real reason for the cape, it looks cool.

Family Differences

It's amusing how different people manifest their anxieties, even in my own house. With me, it's all physical. You know I'm anxious when you can see me like Marge here:

I may also be experiencing a panic attack, or freaking out over any physical ailment I'm experiencing.

My brother on the other hand, he's borderline OCD. He's constantly washing his hands, will usually only eat food prepared by himself or by mom in the way that it has always been prepared. For example, Mom makes spaghetti, he's fine. I make spaghetti, no way.

We're both hypochondriacs of course. One of the most common symptoms of Wellbutrin is numbness, tingling, pins and needles in extremities. So, usually tinglings in my arms and fingers. Throw in some heartburn, and I immediately think I'm having a heart attack. It usually takes someone talking me down from it. My brother is also a hypochondriac but I can't give examples for him.

However, my mom is anticipating the phone call from one of us in the future that goes, "MOM!! The baby coughed! Should I take him to the doctor?! Is he going to be ok?!?!".

But I guess the differences in anxiety are due to various things, such as slightly different genetics, slightly different upbringing (the fact he's a male and younger than me shows that). Either way, we both have anxiety issues.

However, I'm more willing to admit it than him.

I don't remember

I've officially been off the pristiq for a week now. The side effects from the withdrawal are more or less gone but there's still some while the wellbutrin is working its way into my system. However, the main one now is feeling like small electric shocks not long before having to take my medication again.

I'll get by, I guess.

This whole thing has made me glad I haven't been called into any schools this past week or so since I was not mentally there at all. Now, I'd like it if the phone rang.

There was something I wanted to write, I know that, but I don't remember what it was. If I remember, I'll write it down.

Side Effects Update

I guess this is my second full day of the pill switch. Here's an update:

- Sleep. I must have spent at least 10 hours in bed last night/this morning and then dozed this afternoon. I don't know if this is withdrawal or new medication.

- Nausea. Worse than yesterday. I can barely sit up straight (I'm currently lounging on the couch at a 45 degree angle. Any higher and I feel like throwing up).

- Head stuff. Mind is not so foggy today and the light headedness comes and go.

- Crying jags. That started today. First, when I tried to explain why I wasn't going to work. Then when I realized I couldn't eat the bananas since they're for baking. Then when I told the cat there wasn't another cat outside.

Appetite is fine though. And my mood is stable...ish. As much as it can be dealing with the side effects. It's mostly the nausea and head that keeps me from work tonight. Hopefully I can make it tomorrow.

Withdrawaling TIme

I went to the doctor on Tuesday and told him about everything that was going on. He gave me a new medication and told me to get off the other. So I'm off Pristiq and on Wellbutrin. Unfortunately, I have to deal with a lot of withdrawal symptoms. Right now I'm dealing with:

- nausea. Not fun at all.

- light-headedness/dizziness. Also not fun. It makes me want to do nothing. This is probably the worst part.

- foggy head/loss of concentration. I hate these because it's....the proof is I can't find the word to describe it.

My mood hasn't changed. I guess that's ok.

Hopefully the new drug will take over soon while I deal with this withdrawal stuff.

In the meantime, I think I should at least lie down for a while, even though it's 12:30 in the morning.

I'm told it takes about 7 days to get over this "detox". This is gonna be a long seven days.

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving here in Canada. Not sure why we have it earlier than Americans. it might have to do with it being colder so we have to harvest earlier. I honestly have no idea. Either way, I get turkey this weekend.

Despite the yummy eating, it's a time to be thankful for various things. I'm not sure what to say for that. I could say I have my health, but I have this new stomach/acid/gassy thing which is not fun. I have friends, that's not something everyone can say. I do have a job. It's not what I want to do with my life but it's something legal that makes money. In this economy, you do what you can.

I don't think I have my mind, which is a terrible thing to say. Have a very quick....thing with someone, my heart and pride shattered, leading to a depression that I haven't found my way fully out of. I feel like I've peaked with my medication and I'm not where I used to be. Disturbing images pop in my head again periodically. The biggest thing? The car-related anxiety attacks are returning. The first one was back in April, but it was an isolated incident, or so I thought. Then I had a few on the bus. In the past few weeks, about half the time I get in a car, I'd feel one coming. I do everything I can do to avoid them: I read, I talk, I play with the phone, I do some combination of all the above. I don't know why the attacks are coming back and I don't like it.

I have every plan to tell the doctor when I see him in two weeks. It might even get me in to see a psychiatrist quicker.

Plan for the Future

Yesterday, I sang at a funeral for a member of the church. I don't know if he knew me, but his wife does. As I was sitting in my seat, my mind begins to wander, as it does. I was looking at the coffin and the size of it dawned something in my mind.

My brother is three years younger than. Women tend to live longer than men, so it's entirely possible that I will live longer than my brother. The thought occurred to me that finding a coffin long enough to fit him might be a problem. Would we have to get one long enough or would they break his legs to fit him in? Would he even want to be buried? He's very into zombies and the zombie apocalypse right now, so would he want to be cremated to ensure he doesn't come back as a zombie? I realized that, while my brother and I are close, he has never mentioned these ideas to me.

So I asked him. Before I could get very far, he immediately stopped me and said that he didn't want to talk about that, the idea really disturbs him and to never mention it again.

I was a little surprised by this. Most people in my family know that I want to be cremated and have a general idea of what music I want for my funeral (Faure's Requiem, Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silent, Jesu Lover of My Soul, O God Our Help in Ages Past and (if I die at the right time of year) St. Patrick's Breastplate).

Maybe I'm more open about this kind of thing. Maybe I'm more realistic. Maybe my brother is too sensitive about this topic.

Or maybe I'm just morbid.

In-depth Harry Potterness

I'm a nerd, yes? That's pretty much agreeable. We also know that I'm in Pottermore. Well, I just want to give you some ideas on the information we've been given. First, a detailed background into Professor MacGonagall's life. Second, after a series of questions at the appropriate times, you're given a wand and house. Here's a little detail that J.K. Rowling has provided on my wand and my house.

Wand

10 and a half inches, Sycamore with Unicorn, Unyielding

The sycamore makes a questing wand, eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities. It is a quirk of these handsome wands that they may combust if allowed to become ‘bored,’ and many witches and wizards, settling down into middle age, are disconcerted to find their trusty wand bursting into flame in their hand as they ask it, one more time, to fetch their slippers. As may be deduced, the sycamore’s ideal owner is curious, vital and adventurous, and when paired with such an owner, it demonstrates a capacity to learn and adapt that earns it a rightful place among the world's most highly-prized wand woods.

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.

Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may 'die' and need replacing.

Once being placed in Slytherin, while even wanting to be in that house, I was a little surprised. I had figured I'd be placed in Ravenclaw. But then I read the welcome message, again another amazing thing from JKR, who must have created these for all four houses.

Congratulations! I’m Prefect Gemma Farley, and I’m delighted to welcome you to SLYTHERIN HOUSE. Our emblem is the serpent, the wisest of creatures; our house colours are emerald green and silver, and our common room lies behind a concealed entrance down in the dungeons. As you’ll see, its windows look out into the depths of the Hogwarts lake. We often see the giant squid swooshing by – and sometimes more interesting creatures. We like to feel that our hangout has the aura of a mysterious, underwater shipwreck.

Now, there are a few things you should know about Slytherin – and a few you should forget.

Firstly, let’s dispel a few myths. You might have heard rumours about Slytherin house – that we’re all into the Dark Arts, and will only talk to you if your great-grandfather was a famous wizard, and rubbish like that. Well, you don’t want to believe everything you hear from competing houses. I’m not denying that we’ve produced our share of Dark wizards, but so have the other three houses – they just don’t like admitting it. And yes, we have traditionally tended to take students who come from long lines of witches and wizards, but nowadays you’ll find plenty of people in Slytherin house who have at least one Muggle parent.

Here’s a little-known fact that the other three houses don’t bring up much: Merlin was a Slytherin. Yes, Merlin himself, the most famous wizard in history! He learned all he knew in this very house! Do you want to follow in the footsteps of Merlin? Or would you rather sit at the old desk of that illustrious ex-Hufflepuff, Eglantine Puffett, inventor of the Self-Soaping Dishcloth?

I didn’t think so.

But that’s enough about what we’re not. Let’s talk about what we are, which is the coolest and edgiest house in this school. We play to win, because we care about the honour and traditions of Slytherin.

We also get respect from our fellow students. Yes, some of that respect might be tinged with fear, because of our Dark reputation, but you know what? It can be fun, having a reputation for walking on the wild side. Chuck out a few hints that you’ve got access to a whole library of curses, and see whether anyone feels like nicking your pencil case.

But we’re not bad people. We’re like our emblem, the snake: sleek, powerful, and frequently misunderstood.

For instance, we Slytherins look after our own – which is more than you can say for Ravenclaw. Apart from being the biggest bunch of swots you ever met, Ravenclaws are famous for clambering over each other to get good marks, whereas we Slytherins are brothers. The corridors of Hogwarts can throw up surprises for the unwary, and you’ll be glad you’ve got the Serpents on your side as you move around the school. As far as we’re concerned, once you’ve become a snake, you’re one of ours – one of the elite.

Because you know what Salazar Slytherin looked for in his chosen students? The seeds of greatness. You’ve been chosen by this house because you’ve got the potential to be great, in the true sense of the word. All right, you might see a couple of people hanging around the common room whom you might not think are destined for anything special. Well, keep that to yourself. If the Sorting Hat put them in here, there’s something great about them, and don’t you forget it.

And talking of people who aren’t destined for greatness, I haven’t mentioned the Gryffindors. Now, a lot of people say that Slytherins and Gryffindors represent two sides of the same coin. Personally, I think Gryffindors are nothing more than wannabe Slytherins. Mind you, some people say that Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor prized the same kinds of students, so perhaps we are more similar than we like to think. But that doesn’t mean that we cosy up with Gryffindors. They like beating us only slightly less than we like beating them.

A few more things you might need to know: our house ghost is the Bloody Baron. If you get on the right side of him he’ll sometimes agree to frighten people for you. Just don’t ask him how he got bloodstained; he doesn’t like it.

The password to the common room changes every fortnight. Keep an eye on the noticeboard. Never bring anyone from another house into our common room or tell them our password. No outsider has entered it for more than seven centuries.

Well, I think that’s all for now. I’m sure you’ll like our dormitories. We sleep in ancient four-posters with green silk hangings, and bedspreads embroidered with silver thread. Medieval tapestries depicting the adventures of famous Slytherins cover the walls, and silver lanterns hang from the ceilings. You’ll sleep well; it’s very soothing, listening to the lake water lapping against the windows at night.

Yup. If I was really in Hogwarts, I'd be at home in Slytherin. I just hope I don't get in trouble posting this.

PS. I've edited this several times to be able to show what's my words and what's Pottermore's. But, for some reason, blogspot doesn't want me to. Hopefully, by bolding my words, you can tell the difference.