The Social Network

Last weekend, I convocated. For those who don't know that word, it means I graduated from university. I am now Amy Evans, B.Ed. I can officially teach your children from kindergarten to grade 6. It started with the induction ceremony on Friday morning, welcoming us to the teaching profession and the union. This was followed by the actual convocation ceremony itself. This is where we sat and wait for our names to be called for the 15 seconds that we're on stage and get our graduating hoods and diploma, aka the most expensive piece of paper we'll ever own. I had supper with my family that evening, which was great. Thanks again to my aunts and mom for planning this on short notice and for the presents. And yes, my family REALLY knows me: there was Caesar salad and garlic bread. Then there was the graduation gala Saturday night, complete with a delicious meal, a few speeches, mock awards and a dance. I won Best Techie and Lives in the CMC. The CMC is the education library, and yes, I lived there. I had a spot and everything. Guess what I was doing in there? On the laptop. So it just made sense, I guess.

It was great to see everyone, from the people I saw everyday for the past four months, to the girls I lived with and traveled with for four months, to the people I haven't seen in almost 2 years because they did French Immersion and thus went away. It really will be the last time we see each other, the last time all of us will be in the same room together. There could always be a reunion I guess, in say, 20 years, or some other milestone year, but with the advent of social media and networking, that seems like something that may soon become a thing of the past.

In the past, at least as TV and movies seem to portray, reunions were the best way to see old friends, catch up and see who has done what. But now, everyone has everyone and their mom on facebook. It's easier than ever to see what so-and-so has been doing, who so-and-so has been dating and if so-and-so has had their baby yet. All you have to do is type in their name. So, will there really be a need for reunions in the future when everyone's posting their business on facebook?

And is social networking really bringing people closer or are we just driving a wedge between interpersonal relationships? I have friends on facebook that I haven't seen in maybe 10 years, maybe longer! I have friends I haven't met because we're friends through games. Some people might be one of my closest friends. The point is, I don't need to meet them for coffee to see what's going on in their lives. I can keep up on just about anyone I want. And trust me, if I have you on Facebook, I have most likely Facebook-stalked you to some extent, whether it's going through old posts, pictures, whatever. If you don't do it, most of your friends do it. Don't judge me. So in that sense, we are closer.

But in the other way, we don't need to meet and talk to people to know what's going on. Even this blog is a way for people to get to know me without having a face-to-face conversation with me. With social networking, and the internet in general, we don't actually talk to people as much. My ex-boyfriend and I hardly had a telephone conversation unless it was like "I'm leaving to pick you up in about 5 minutes. I need to stop here first, but I'll be on my way after that." We did most of our talking on MSN. It was how we knew about each other's day, what plans were and sometimes just random talking. And it's not just friends. How many things can you do online now that you used to need to talk to someone to do? All my bills are now done online. I can even buy a movie ticket online!

Are we getting to the point where we no longer have any human contact at all? What's going to happen in the post-apocalyptic world when there is no computers? I guess we'll wait and see. But when that time comes, I won't be able to blog about it.

Convocation is near!

Well, since it's now Monday, I'm going to assume that the rapture didn't happen, rather than thinking that the rapture DID happen and no one I know, including myself, has been saved.

At least, with this no rapture, I can convocate! The convocation ceremony is Friday, with our grad dinner being Saturday. We decided that Friday will be family night, where we can all spend the big day with out families. Saturday, we party hard with our friends and classmates.

It's been quite the ride with these people in the past three years. Before I joined education, I knew 3 of them. Now I have 75 new friends. Before I joined, I was told that most people meet their best friend when they joined Education. I didn't, but that's ok because I met a bunch of people that I love. I'll miss them, even though for the next little while, we'll be competing with each other for jobs. I hope that someday I'll be able to work with some of these awesome people again. I know we're all going to be great teachers and I wish every single one of them the best of luck in the future.

In the meantime, I broke down. I got myself a smartphone. This one is a Samsung Galaxy S. I love it. I love being able to check my email while I'm away and play various games. Angry Birds is like crack :P. I even have a tricorder app! Yeah, I'm a nerd, I know. While most of the stuff I have it on now are fun, I'm sure that I'll soon get more apps that are more useful.

End of Days? Really?

Tomorrow is supposed to be the end of the world, according to this guy named Harold Camping. I don't believe him. First of all, he predicted the rapture would come in September 1994. Guess he missed that one. Secondly, he's an engineer who seriously believes that the universe was created just over 13,000 years ago. What?! I don't understand how someone who is supposedly intelligent honestly believes this, despite all the SCIENTIFIC proof that the world is much older than that.

I could say something about engineers and intelligence but I won't.

I've read some of this guys writings and it honestly doesn't make sense. He assigns biblical meanings to numbers and then multiplies them together to get this prophecy that the rapture begins tomorrow. However, I did not find how he assigns these numbers. It appears to me that he just randomly assigned these numbers just to make his own numbers make sense.

I understand there are people who take the bible quite literally. I can't do that. I've never been able to do that. I remember having a conversation as a child with my mom about creation, trying to figure out how the dinosaurs, who lived millions of years ago for a very long time, only survived for one day if that, when you look at the 6 day biblical creation story. I concluded that one of Gods days must be longer than one of our days, like on other planets and one day must have been thousands or millions of years (as a young child, I couldn't think in much bigger numbers...it was either a million or infinity. I knew it couldn't have been infinity, therefore it must have been millions). Also, if you take the bible literally, are you going to have "do everything the bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff" as Ned Flanders said? And which version are you using? What about the apocrypha? The books of the bible that didn't make the cut in the final version?

And why even give the idea to someone like an engineer? Why not give the message to someone like...the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Dalai Lama....one of the many religious officials out there? You're more likely to save someone if it comes from a reasonable authority. And why is it always a Christian message of the world coming to an end? Do other religions have this fear? If not, why the Christians? If we are to believe the universe is 13000 years old, the Jews and Muslims would be freaking out now too, but all I hear is Christianity.

And then there's the idea of God only having the universe for 13000 years. If God is infinite, 13000 years is not a very long time. Why create everything to get rid of us quickly? It's like saying "I'm gonna get a puppy, I'm gonna love him, feed him, take care of him, but only for 3 years. Once he turns 3, I'm going to kill him." If you love that puppy, you take care of that puppy until it's natural time to leave. If you're sane of course. I've always assumed that God was sane.

And now, there's the idea of the zombie apocalypse. The CDC even put out an article of what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse and any other natural disaster. I've already determined that if there IS a zombie apocalypse, the people most likely to survive are video gamers, since we've killed many, many zombies in our lifetime. And Simon Pegg of course. He knows how to do it. He did it in Shaun of the Dead. Unfortunately, unlike video games, the guns aren't lying on the ground. We can still try it out though.

So, is this going to be the end of the world? Will this be my last post? Is tomorrow going to be a rapture? I sincerely doubt it. But if it is, have a great afterlife. If it's not, see you in my next post!

Another Nanaimo Test

I just ate another Nanaimo bar. This one was from a convenience store/bakery/deli near my house. Let's see how it stacks up:

- the chocolate: When I got it in the bag, the top was coming off. I was not impressed. The chocolate was also soft. It was like they just laid they made the bars, cut them and then put the chocolate rectangle on top to match the shape of the bar. Not good.

- the cream. I'll give it points for the amount of cream. However, the cream was almost TOO creamy. It was very mushy, and I could still taste icing sugar, if that was somehow possible. Not good.

- the bottom: The redeeming factor. It wasn't perfect, but it was very good. The bottom was a little course, but not too course. I think it might have been a little too dark though. Other than that, it was a great bottom.

Overall, not a great Nanaimo bar. Points award to the bottom and amount of cream. However, points are taken away for the chocolate and texture/test of the cream.

The quest will continue.

You know, maybe I should come up with a rubric. That way, you'll know exactly how everything is and I can accurately give each bar a score. Thoughts?

Curious Nerds

I am a nerd. That has been established by me and a few other people. When I watch a movie, I immediately go to IMdB (Internet Movie Database) and Wikipedia to find out all the trivia and facts about the movie and actors who were involved. I usually avoid the message boards due to the trolls, but I sometimes scan and see what people are saying. Besides, you never know when this random knowledge will come up at some point. Maybe it will be the final Jeopardy question and I'll win a lot of money if I ever get on that show. Maybe I'll be at a party and meet a fellow nerd and have a wonderful conversation about random movie facts. Maybe I'll win a bet. Who knows.

That said, being the person that I am, I'm in love with the little stats tab above my blog. I don't think others can see it, but I can see how many views various pages have, when people view my page and where they're viewing them from. This is probably what interests me most. It doesn't surprise me that most of the people who view my blog are from Canada, with the US being a close second. However....who's reading this from Germany and Singapore? If it's you, can you let me know? Either on Facebook or Twitter, wherever you get my link. It's also pretty neat that someone's reading from an iPhone. Really? You are interested enough to read this as you go? Good on ya!

If you want to tell me (and I will accept private messages on Facebook or Twitter, or a text if you have that number) who you are and who's reading, that'd be cool. Honestly, I'm just a little interested. I just like to know who is actually reading this! My nerdiness likes to know...well...everything! :)

Taken for granted

It's amazing what people take for granted. Right now, I'm having problems with my phone, particularly with texts at the moment. I've taken for granted that my texts have always sent. Now, since it seems that my texts aren't sending, and now, I have no idea who got my texts and who didn't. It actually sucks. Don't take texts for granted! Be glad your message gets to the person that you want it to go to!

And then there are the little things, the things you get used to. For example, in Canada, if you walk into a pub that has a tv, most likely, it's playing hockey (assuming it's hockey season). I am a hockey fan, even though, honestly, I don't pay a lot of attention until playoff season. However, while I was in England, one of things we mentioned was how much we missed hockey! We just wanted to go to a bar and watch a game. Unfortunately, hockey's not very big over there, so we couldn't. Here in Canada, we can take for granted even the most simple tasks of turning the channel or checking the paper in the morning to see who won the game.

I wonder if people from Europe feel the same way when they come to North America, or Americans when they go to a country where there's no American football. Or anyone going to another country where their favourite sport isn't popular.

It's be interesting to know.

The quest continues...

The search for the best nanaimo bar continued today! Today was the annual church spring sale, which, along with three meals comes a lot of cookies. I knew there had to be a nanaimo bar somewhere! And I found one.

I don't know who made it, but let's start with the top:

chocolate layer - the chocolate tasted nice, but it wasn't hard enough. However, I may have to let that go due it probably being left out, meaning it could have melted a bit.

filling - Nice and creamy. Can't complain.

bottom - if it was another cookie, it'd be good. However, the bottom of a nanaimo bar shouldn't taste like a brownie, which that one did. The bottom should be a bit more wafery, a bit more texture than this one did.

Overall, not bad. It won most points on its custard filling.

The search will continue...

In other sale news, picked up a few books, helped the book sale make over $500, which is probably the best it ever has. At least, it has in my memory. I got some fudge and some Scottish Tablet, which is pretty much sugar, condensed milk and more sugar. It's SO GOOD! Also picked up a few earrings. One of them is arrows, which is pretty neat. I enjoy it!

I also held two babies which is always a joy. One liked me because she could take off my glasses. The other didn't so much, probably because I was not food. But maybe, in time, this baby will like me too.

For now, I will continue my search for the nanaimo bar and will keep you updated!

Upgrades of Life Part 2

So, just a few continuing thoughts on the upgrades of life.

Do we ever really finish upgrading? As soon as we buy a new computer, it's outdated as something new has just been released. We buy a new phone and there's a better one in a week. I'm currently using an LG Rumor. A few weeks after I got it, the Rumor 2 was released. Yay for technology.

So where do we draw the line? Should we get something new as soon as we figure out that something we have isn't as top of the line as someone else's? Well, of course not, obviously. That's just a waste of money.

But the fact is that we, as a society, want our technology better, faster. And right now, it's getting on the market faster than we know what to do with it. Maybe we should slow down the technology a little. Even if we cut our current technological advances a little bit, we'd still be a pretty technological advanced race. We could then use the money into something like helping to fight diseases or feed starving children.

And it's not like we're competing against anyone. In the Cold War/Space War, it was all about the US getting ahead of the USSR in terms of technology and getting into space. Is this still happening? Are we trying to compete with other countries to see who can make the best laptop and cell phone? It shouldn't be like that. We should be working together, building and learning for all of humanity. That way, when the aliens come, we can say "well, our computers can do just about anything. Plus, we've beaten cancer and fed all the poor kids in Africa".

At least then maybe the aliens will let Earth live. We're smart and we care!

Upgrades of Life

In our lives, we're always upgrading, going from one thing to something better. Sometimes, we do it because technology requires us to upgrade. They don't make VHS anymore, so buying a VCR isn't a great idea. Sometimes, something is old and doesn't work well, so we need something new, like a new car. Sometimes...well...sometimes, you just want to upgrade.

When I look at the things I have, I think how I'd like to upgrade: newer laptop, smartphone, HDTV. I wonder why I'd want to upgrade. My laptop is about three years old, and things are breaking on it. The dvd player doesn't work, it doesn't recognize the webcam and the battery is shot. If I were to get a new laptop, I could justify it. The smartphone - well...everyone else has one! Why do I have a feeling that's not a good enough argument? If I wasn't living home, or if I was more popular, than maybe I could. But not now. Maybe I just want one because I'm jealous everyone else does. HDTV...well, I needed a new tv, and I got the cheapest TV I could find...which was also HD. Getting the HD box and subscribing to HDTV seems like the next logical step.

I can also upgrade my clothes! I've lost 15lbs and I'm proud to say I'm done a size in my clothes! That makes me so...I don't know how to describe it. Someday, I'll get a little smaller and I can wear even more clothes that fit me well. I know I won't be small, since I don't think I'm genetically able to be bone-skinny. But at least I'm not a plus size anymore :)

So, now do I upgrade? I got new clothes, so now I just need to figure out what now.

Also, no new news on the nanaimo bar quest.

Nanaimo Bar Quest!

In the past week, I've had two different nanaimo bars from two different cafes. I had one on Sunday from Hava Java and one today from Second Cup. If you're not sure what a nanaimo bar is, you can check it out at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanaimo_bar.

Now, different places differ slightly on how they make their bars. Based on the two I've had, the top is better at Hava Java and the bottom is better at Second Cup. I like the bottom to not be too rough. The top needs a fair amount of icing and more than just a sliver of chocolate.

So I've decided to start a quest, looking for the perfect nanaimo bar! If I see one, I will eat it and try to figure it out.

It must be hard to find! I can't even find a picture of what looks like a great bar. There's either not enough icing, or chocolate or the bottom looks too roughy/nutty.

I know it's out there somewhere. Someday, I will find it!

First signs of summer

May 6th, 16 degrees: Summer appears to be starting! Kids are out on their bikes, people are walking in short sleeves and, in some cases, shorts, the smell of barbeque's in the air and my cat wants to go outside.

I love my cats, I really do. But they're odd. We're pretty sure that Bob things he's human and Belle understands English. Belle is an odd one. Any noise scares her and she doesn't like to be picked up. She also has a love/hate relationship with the world outside the house. She knows that people leave the house and she has actually gotten upset over it. We know this because we've heard her crying after us from the window and we've heard her crying if she discovers someone else has left. She also gets upset when Bob leaves the house. Bob goes outside for a few minutes every morning to make sure that everything near the house is ok. Belle will watch him from the window and lets us know when he's ready to come inside. She will also alert us if he's gone from sight. She hates that, since she can't see him anymore.

To most people, it seems like Belle is jealous that everyone, including her best friend Bob, is outside and she's inside. This is not the case. She is a fixed female and wears a flea collar so she can go outside when she wants. The thing is that she doesn't WANT to go out! We can leave the door open and she'll stand by the door. However, when the weather gets warm and the sun is high in the sky, Belle does want to go outside. Today was one of those days.

Of course, she's never out for long. 5 minutes tops. I think today was about 45 seconds. She pretty much just goes out long enough to chew on a bit of grass and inside again. And you have to go outside with her. I'm not quite sure why.

She's such an odd little kitty. But she's my kitty.

May the 4th Be With You!

There's a small part of my nerdiness that is not as developed as the rest of it. This part would be my Star Wars nerd. I was always more a fan of Star Trek than Star Wars. However, I have always respected Star Wars for what it was and what it did for the entire genre and movies alike. I have seen some of the films, particularly 4, 6 and 1. It's been a long time since I've seen the first one (by which I mean the 4th episode), that today, on Star Wars Day, I decided to watch it again.

Watching it now, as an adult, gave me a much more better viewpoint than as a child.

Basically...Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope is not that great of a movie. For the time, the visual effects were great. But the plot? Well, there wasn't a lot there. The characters weren't well developed and I thought the dialogue could have been much better.

I know what you're saying. I can hear your voices insisting, "but Amy, it's just the first! As the series develops, the characters become more three dimensional, things get fleshed out and it becomes a great masterpiece." I have no doubt that of that. I haven't seen Empire and it's been just as long since I've seen Jedi, so maybe I don't have the right to judge.

But I do know what George Lucas has said, and that's probably where a lot of my criticism comes from now. And no, this doesn't have to do with the whole "Han shot first" thing, which I'm a believer in, anyways. But, according to Lucas, the script was originally so big that he had to cut it down to three episodes, giving us the original trilogy. But, when released in 1977, it was intended to be a stand alone film and sequels (and even the prequels!) weren't considered until after the film became successful. So why the not great plot, characters and dialogue in the beginning if it wasn't intended to be fleshed out later?

If someone out there has any insight on this, it'd be great. I'd love to hear it. Seriously, I would.

I've also heard that there were many changes to both Luke and Leia in the early ideas of Star Wars, including Luke being a girl and there is no Leia. I could question the whole "I am your father" and "there is another Skywalker" then, wondering if this was actually in the cards the whole time or if Lucas made it up on the fly. I can just imagine him in the board room with producers and crew and saying "Holy crap, I just came up with the most awesome twist ever! You won't believe who Luke's father is!"

Then again, maybe somewhere deep inside, the Trekkie in me just wants to take down Star Wars. I'm not saying that Star Trek is perfect, just look at Wesley Crusher. He's a character so perfect it pisses everyone off! But maybe my inner Trekkie nerd just wants to beat up the inner baby Star Wars nerd and is looking for any possible way to take it down.

Is there a way the two leanings can live together in peace?

May the force be with you, and live long and prosper.

Heart Without a Home

I'm a huge music lover. My music collection contains pretty much every genre you could think of (at least one example of them all anyways) and music that I forget I have until Media Player decides that it will play next when I click random. I have about 20 GBs of music, not including the over 40 cds that have not yet being ripped to my library.

I've always enjoyed music, from singing along to Disney films, seeing local children performs at the Arts and Culture Center and then discovering that music plays on the radio. That was it for me. I must have been 7 or 8, when I remember telling my mom not to change the station because I liked a certain song. Turns out, that song was a song by Swedish band Ace of Base. I don't remember now if it was Don't Turn Around or The Sign, but I knew that I liked it. Soon, the cassette collection began, and I would spend hours just listening and singing along to Ace of Base, then Mariah Carey to whom I was introduced to in 1995 when I fell in love with her song Fantasy the first time I heard it. I'll still listen to some Ace of Base. It's great pumping music for working out. Mariah is one of my favourite female artists, though I mostly just listen to her old stuff.

In 1996, Canada was introduced to a group of 5 clean-cut, harmonizing, good-looking Americans called The Backstreet Boys. I was apprehensive at first. Even as a kid, I secretly wanted to be different, so I was wary of listening to the same band that everyone was listening to. Then I saw the video on NTV, which for reasons I still don't know, played music videos. I liked what I heard, and soon I was a BSB fan. While my musical preferences have changed, I'm still a fan of these (now) four men, and have watched them mature and grow, personally and musically. I have been to both of their concerts here and I was the happiest person in the world when I got to meet them last year and Nick Carter gave me his WoW handle so that I could play with him.

Nick was my favourite. And I guess, still is. I was so excited when I heard that he would be releasing a solo album in 2002. A whole album by my favourite Backstreet Boy? How awesome! When I got it, I loved it. I still do enjoy the songs. Sometimes now, depending on my mood, I may skip some songs as they come on randomly. Except one. One song never gets skipped.

This album came out in 2002. I was 16 years old, and I wasn't a happy teenager. My sister had been diagnosed with cancer a year earlier. In retrospect, I could see that I was dealing with depression and anxiety issues that I continued to push aside in order to keep everyone else happy. I had friends, but I wasn't the one who was going out every weekend. I was the one who sat in the back of the class, on the side, preferably near the window or door. I watched friends and classmates date and form relationships while I didn't. Like I mentioned, I had friends, but I was only close to a few people, and even then, I felt like I wasn't as close to them as other people were. I also had other home issues that aren't meant for this blog at this point in time. I didn't think that people were going through what I was going through, that they didn't understand the pressures of trying to keep the house together while the mother was taking care of a sick child, trying to get along with (and mostly failing) a 13 year old brother, feeling like you were so alone in the world that if you just stopped showing up at school, only the teachers doing roll call would notice. I was convinced that if I screamed in a crowded room, no one would hear me. I felt alone in the universe.

Then I played the cd. One of the last songs started, and these are the words that started:

Girl I love to watch you

You're like candy to my eyes
Like a movie that you've seen
But gotta watch just one more time
But that smile you're wearing
It's a beautiful disguise
It's just something you put on to hide the emptiness inside
And you seem so lonely, but you don't have to anymore

My ears were listening. By the time the bridge played, my eyes had tears:

I'll be yours, I'll be the raft in the tide
I'll be yours, I'll be the truth in a lie
And what's more, when no one opens the door
I'll be the home that you're looking for

After hearing that song, I knew. Somewhere, someone understood. I didn't know where that person was or if I'd ever find them, but someone would look at me and take me from that loneliness that I was feeling. I knew that someday, I wouldn't have to scream for attention, hoping that someone would be turn around because they're already looking at me. Have a found that person yet? I found several people in those past 9 years, from counselors, to friends and at one point, a steady boyfriend. Some of these people are no longer in my life, some of them still are. But the point is, that song was the first thing that gave me some sign of hope.

Even now, at 25 and no longer seeing a therapist and feeling a million miles away from where I was at 16, I still get that hope. If that song plays and I'm in a bad mood or lonely, I don't feel it anymore. If I'm in a good mood, such as being around one of these people, it reminds me that I'm not alone anymore. It's the song that doesn't get skipped.

People may give me an odd look or think my musical tastes are a joke when I mention that I like the Backstreet Boys. But the emotions that some of their songs bring in me is worth it. Usually, it's good memories from before things went downhill. But, as Nick's song, called "Heart Without A Home", it was the first step in a very long journey that reminded me that I wasn't alone in the world, that someday, my heart will have a home and I don't have to be lonely anymore.

The song came on my playlist tonight, in between Crazy Frog and Delain, which is what prompted this entry at 2 in the morning.

But this is a thank you to Nick Carter, who will probably not read this, and a message to anyone who ever felt like I did. To Nick: thank you. I can't thank enough what that song did to me. To the lonely: you are not alone. Trust me. I was in your shoes and it will be ok.

Welcome

I have decided to great a new blog, almost as a follow-up to my Harlow blog. Basically, I've been finding my head racing with thoughts and they need to come out. The easiest way to do this is to blog. I've had livejournals before and I was really good at updating them. But, like things do, I just gave up on it. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up with this blog. I don't see why I wouldn't.

If you're reading this, it's probably because you know me and you found the link either on my Facebook or Twitter. However, if you don't know me, here's a little background. My name is Amy, and I live in Newfoundland, Canada. If you don't know where that is, look at a map of North America. Do you see that big island on the far east side of Canada? That's Newfoundland. I've lived for four months in England, and did a bit of traveling there too. I've attended church at Westminster Abbey, gone drinking in Dublin, was on a boat in Loch Ness, and called my mother from the top of the Eiffel Tour.

I'm an odd one, and I'm not the only one to say so. I just finished my degree in Primary/Elementary Education and can't wait to be in my own classroom. I'm a fan of all types of music; I sing in a church choir, like to dance to 80's/90's dance/pop, still love the Backstreet Boys and I love rocking out to European metal. I play World of Warcraft and like to watch hockey. I'm sort of a nerd, but you'll learn that as you read more.

In the meantime, this is just an introduction, and there will be more to come.