Alone House

I'm currently watching the House series finale. First hour is a reflection on the last eight years, then the finale itself. Therefore, I don't mind blogging while Hugh Laurie is talking. I have Diablo 3. It's been taking up my life for the past week. I haven't been playing it as intensely as others, but I'm playing. I don't think I've been on World of Warcraft in the week. It's an enjoyable game for those who like this kind of epic fantasy role-playing game. Still at the house. There's just over a month left. But I think Tom Petty said it best: Oh yeah I'm alright I just feel a little lonely tonight I'm okay, most of the time I just feel a little lonely tonight During the day, I'm fine. I'm often not here, out running errands or working. But in the evening, if I don't have plans, or if there's no one I'm seeing...I'm a wreck in the night. I'm depressed, I'm lonely, I hate it. A few nights ago I was crying because the most meaningful conversation I had that day was with a 10 year old. Living completely alone is not for me. I need other people. We don't have to get along. We don't have to like each other. We can spend all day locked in our rooms, scheduling meal times so we don't have to talk to each other, but just having someone else there will not make me feel lonely. I don't always show it, but I'm a social creature. If you know me well enough, you may notice that I'm generally more upbeat and positive when I'm around people. If I'm alone, or feel lonely, that's it. Unfortunately, in that state, I don't want the people. Or rather, I don't want to find people. When I'm that low, I want the people to come to me of their own accord. If I can get talking to people, I may hint that I want company, but maybe I'm not doing such a good job since it doesn't work. At least not right away. Maybe I'm being complex. Or my mind is a little off. That's why I take medication, to make my mind slightly more normal. Seems to be working. I can get on buses again, which is a big deal. I miss trains though. Maybe I should go back to Europe because of the trains. I'm starting to get random. House finale episode is coming on. I'm going to watch now.